Last-minute Chili (that still tastes really, really good!)

My husband doesn't like spicy food.
It's true! It's true! You can ask him! He says it upsets his stomach.
I, however, like it hot. So, when I get it into my little head to make chili, I make two different kinds: Hot & Spicy, and Baby chili.
Hahahaha.

Last night I wanted chili. Because I didn't know I wanted chili first thing in the morning, I didn't do what I usually do, which is prepare it the day before I want to eat it, and have it simmer in a crock pot for a good 24 hours to get all possible goodness out of it. So, I give you, the two recipes to my Last-Minute Chilis!

First Up: Awesome Spicy Burn-your-tongue-off-with-flavour Chili



Capital M, little m little m little m.

Dramatis Personae:
1 lb ground beef
1 can brown beans
1/2 can red kidney beans
3 cloves minced garlic
2 tablespoons Franks Red Hot (or three.... or four..)
1 can diced tomatoes, drained of all juices (you don't want chili soup, do you?)
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 generous shaking of ground pepper shaker
1 red pepper, sliced into 3 inch long slices
about 10-12 mushrooms, sliced
1 teaspoon of butter

Directions:
Cook the ground beef in a big ol' silver pot (or black pot, if that's what you have) on low, especially if you're pregnant and prone to forgetting things, and especially if you are busy vacuuming or watching "Ellen" whilst you are cooking.

Add the minced garlic, and if you want to cut down on the fats, drain all the juices off the meat. If you don't want to cut down the fats, leave that flavoury, oily goodness in the pot.

Once the beef is thoroughly cooked, and the garlic is soft, add the beans, tomatoes, red hot, chili and black pepper.

Since this is last minute chili, do not add the veggies. Grab a separate frying pan, and put it on medium heat. Melt that buttery goodness, especially if you don't care about the fats. If you do, just.... Use olive oil or something. Yuck.

Fry the sliced red pepper and mushrooms, stirring often so you don't get any burnt bits. Once they are soft, add them to the chili pot.

Cook that chili goodness, still on medium heat, for about 20 minutes-1/2 hour as you get the rest of your meal ready, whatever that might be. Garlic bread, toast, whatevs.

If you have a husband who doesn't like all the spices of life, simultaneously cook up a pot of Baby Chili as you are putting together the Awesome Chili.

Baby Chili

Not a capital m, little m little m. But Tyler liked it, so whatever.

Dramatis personae (I'm not even sure what that means, but it sounds cool):
1 lb ground beef
1 can brown beans (Heinz is good)
the other 1/2 can of kidney beans
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can of plain ol' tomato sauce (especially if your particular baby doesn't like chunks of tomato)
A little bit of chili powder, not too much, dangit!
And that's it. Wow, not nearly as interesting.

Directions:
Cook the ground beef in a similar fashion to what was described in recipe # 1. Same goes for the discussion about the fats, and stuff.
Add all the beans, tomato sauce, and little bit of chili powder. Simmer on low heat for 20-30 minutes. Weep at the waste of potential for this pot of chili to be awesome, then remember that your sweet baby really doesn't like it unless it's mild-mannered and doesn't make a fuss in the stomach. Stop your blubbering and move on to more important things, like cheesy garlic bread.

Or, take pictures of your husband doing a Scottish jig whilst he grates cheese for you.
It really does look like he's dancing! He's actually perched on the counter, hanging on by a single butt-cheek, not at all dancing... but still. Tis fun to imagine.

I'm not giving you the recipe for garlic bread, because it sucked. I really need to learn how to make good garlic bread, and then I will share the recipe with you. Unless you have a good recipe for Gluten-Free garlic bread, then share! Share! Don't be a good recipe hog!

But the chili was AWESOME.

Especially mine.