DISCLAIMER: This letter is probably not for you. You can read it, but if you're insulted by any of it, well you're just being a silly dilly. :) I love all of my 5 readers. Do I have 5 readers? I don't know.
You are not that awesome. Seriously. Just because you can talk a lot doesn't mean you actually understand or know anything about what you're saying. Don't be arrogant. Arrogance is never flattering on anybody, and it is especially unflattering on a person who has little to no real experience.
Don't tell me you only want to learn, and then keep asking questions that are poorly fabricated attempts at subtle criticisms. If you know better than I do, prove it. If you can do better than I can, prove it. Words are cheap. Be practical.
Stop saying you don't want to step on any toes as you are crushing my entire foot. Stop hiding your intentions with that terrible mask of innocence. You aren't a great actor.
Either mean what you say, or don't say it. Stop trying to defend your obnoxiousness behind a sham that you really don't mean any harm.
If you want to learn, listen. Stop railroading people as they try to explain something to you. Even if you don't agree with them, listen. Especially because you are new, do it their way. If it's a better way, do it their way without a bad attitude. Maybe thank them for teaching you something you can use.
Don't assume you know better than everyone else just because you went to university. What do I care that you went and sat in a room with a bunch of other young people for four years listening to some tool talk at you. Big freaking woop. That doesn't mean you actually learned anything that could be put to practical use. Book smarts mean little in this industry. We need common sense. I learned mine by spending four years IN THE INDUSTRY. Learning. Growing. Working. Discovering.
I'm not stupid, stop treating me like I am. You're not that smart, stop acting like you are.
Stop acting like you're God's Gift to pig farmers. We're the best team in the country, we don't need you. Let me say it again, We Don't Need You. Quit assuming that we do.
Oh, and stop smiling at me and talking to me like I'm your best friend when you just met me and do not know me. You're not my friend. You're an annoying inconvenience with a god-complex who will make every day a trial until you go away.
PS, I don't work for you. Stop grilling me about the specifics of what I do. I do my job well, so well that my bosses are banging their heads against the wall because I'm going on maternity leave soon. I don't see anyone banging their heads against the wall for you, maybe because of you since you're so damn annoying, but that's hardly the same thing.
Ding, dong, the witch is dead.
Well, not dead, just gone. Out of our barn, gone. Not gone from this earth.
Huzzah! Everybody whiss, everybody whiss!